men in shorts
There is never an excuse—aesthetically, medically, or morally—for grown men to wear shorts. And yet the summer weather brings them out like cockroaches from behind the plywood.
In prison, we were issued a pair of red, Richard Simmons-length shorts in addition to a couple pairs of jeans. I never wore the shorts. In hot weather, many cons would sport them while walking the yard, and even the most musclebound, throat-tattooed, mullet-headed meth cooks would look like six-year-old pedo-bait in them.
The phenomenon of knobby-kneed men in shorts is a significant contributing factor in the wholesale emasculation of the American male. It is the infantilizing equivalent of beaver-shaving among women. I favor the complete eradication of men wearing shorts—not only socially, but even in sporting events.
Boys will be boys, but men shouldn't be.
