asian man dates black woman
TOLEDO, OH—Sociologists, behaviorial specialists, and racial demagogues are converging on this dying Rust Belt town to observe a once-in-a-lifetime event—the romantic pairing of an Asian man with a black woman. It is believed to be the first such pairing in world history.
Pol Pak (left) and L'Queeq'a Hardy (right) first met six months ago, when Hardy applied for a cashier's job at the Kim Chee Hut, a fast-food Korean restaurant which Pak owns. Pak, whose entire family was wiped out by a freak fireworks accident in the summer of 2002, took a shine to the fresh-faced Ohio Negress almost instantly. They became friends...then confidantes...then lovers. After several weeks of toiling side-by-side, their interracial lust was finally consummated one night beside a hot-grease fryer in the Kim Chee Hut's kitchen.
"I don't usually go for African women," Pak confesses. "They too loud, they come in and not buy anything, and they steal all the time," he says. "But L'Queeq'a is different. She not loud at all, and I haven't caught her stealing things yet."
"Little yellow-faced no-dick ching chow ling egg foo yungs," Hardy quips while ringing up a to-go order. "That's what I used to think of Asian motherfuckers. But those little-dick guys know how to eat pussy! Whoooo!" Hardy raises her hands in the air and begins dancing around in a circle.
"This is unprecedented," marvels Eaves Whitestone, a University of Oxford sociology professor and a 1997 recipient of the Roger Ebert Fellowship for Research in Interracial Dating. "Black men, since they come from hunter-gatherer tribes, aren't timid about foraging for all colors of women. You even see an occasional white man who's unafraid to cross the color line. But there's no historical record of an Asian man ever dating a black woman. He must REALLY know how to eat pussy!"
