stud priests: catholicism's only hope
The rapid decline of the Holy Roman Church's credibility, authority, and membership can be pinned directly on its insane policy of enforced clerical celibacy. All the ultraviolent nuns and kiddie-diddlin' priests are the natural result of a vocation which forbids entry to red-blooded, sexually functional adults.
Back in the Dark Ages, before the Revelation as told to Saints Freud and Reich, before steamin'-hot, spread-open gash was only a mouse click away, religions could get away with sublimating the public's sexual energies. But nowadays, a billion wrecked marriages and a trillion herpes sores later, the masses are way too ass-savvy to keep their pants buttoned and pray the Rosary instead. To flourish, a religion must incorporate open sexuality as part of its liturgy. Catholicism can choose to ignore this fact only at its own peril.
The withered, scrawny, pale, standard-pedo-profile priesthood must be purged. In its stead must emerge a stable of stud priests: young, massively hung, sexually insatiable human power drills willing to administer the newly defined "Eighth Sacrament"—orgasm—to an undersexed, spiritually undernourished flock. Likewise, the current crop of pruny-dry, unfuckable nuns will be supplanted by a stunning array of mesmerizing Temple Priestesses, their nips pert and their vadges dripping golden nectar.
This is not to say that spiritual yearnings and sexual urges are synonymous. It's merely a practical suggestion that for a modern religion to rake in the ducats, it must forever confuse spirituality with sexuality. The only way to bring people to God these days is through a whorehouse.
