the "spanegro," and why i fear it
I'm always disturbed to see black people speaking Spanish. I am likewise unsettled to see black people with Spaniard-sounding names...you know, things like "Chico Enriquez" and "Pepe Garcia." I am shocked, taken aback, and mildly abashed when humans with clearly Negroidal ancestry start acting Spanish all of a sudden.
Splicing the words "Spanish" and "Negro," I have concoted the term "Spanegro" to define such persons. It's pronounced "spuh-NEE-grow." I was thinking of adding a tilde accent over the "n," in which case it would be spelled Spañegro and pronounced "span-YEGG-row."
Yes, I realize why such a class of persons exists. More African slaves were sent to Brazil than to America, and etc., etc., zippety-do-dah, all the livelong day. This fact doesn't prevent me from being very, very frightened by them.
To the right is a picture of Pedro Martinez, pitcher for perennial losers the Boston Red Sox, as he savagely throws SEVENTY-TWO-YEAR-OLD Yankees coach Don Zimmer, a Caucasian, to the ground today during a playoff game. Mr. Martinez, despite his name, is obviously a black man. And yet the cultural infusion of spicy Hispanic feistiness led him to this barbarous, unconscionable act. If he'd been merely a Negro or merely a Hispanic, this tragedy never would have happened. But Pedro is that most dangerous of all human subspecies—the Spanegro.
I fear the Spanegro because I fear both blacks and Hispanics, and to have these races combined into one body is too much fear for me to bear.
