rectums and hot sauce
While searching the word "rectum" online (more innocent than it sounds, but I'll leave it to your imagination), I encountered a sinister culinary-sexual underworld of hot sauces which celebrate anal pain so intense, it might as well be a jail rape. These sauces do more than burn your palate; they shred your anal membranes.
Lest you think I'm joshing yet again, go to this site or this one or this one and realize there are dozens more like them, touting spicy condiments with names such as:
Screaming Sphincter • ANALize This • Buttplug Relief • Holy Shit! • Colon Cleaner • Flaming Coon Ass • Rectal Revenge • Red Rectum Revenge • Bubba's Butt Blaster • Screaming Sphincter • Rectal Rocket Fuel • Rectum Ripper • Hot Roid • Pain In The Ass • Red Rupture • Ass Blaster • Ass In Hell • Ass in Space • Colon Blow • Crapper John's • Meggasoreass • Anal Agony • Butt Twister • Hemorrhoid Helper
The word "rectum," as well as the organ it describes, is one of the ugliest things there is. And you expect me to splash some Rectum Sauce on my Prime Rib and then put it in my MOUTH?
I enjoy spicy cuisine as much as anyone...right up to the point where the concept of ASS is introduced.
Who are the devotees of this spicy ass cult? Who enjoys curling up to a nice bottle of Butt Twister, savoring the savage anal spraying which is sure to ensue? Who would buy a product that promises only anal pain?
Forget that I asked. I don't want to know.
