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...now she has no excuse.
It’s a sad and familiar story. A real story which countless American couples experience every day. A story which bears repeating here because we have fantastic news—“It doesn’t have to be that way!”
Let’s hear the story one last time, with the hope that we never have to hear it again:
You’ve worked hard all week, and it’s Friday night. You’ve been looking forward to an evening on the town with your special lady: drinks, dancing, a floor show, maybe some pancakes at an all-night diner, and then back home for a round of wonderful lovemaking and joyous physical intimacy.
Yet despite all the forbidden acts she performs with you (including French, Greek, Roman, and even a hint of Belgian), and despite the fact that you paid for the drinks, dancing, floor show, and pancakes, there remains that “one thing” which she won’t do—and that’s swallow.
She says it’s gross. She thinks it’s icky. She insists it’s unnatural and unhealthy. She says that none of her friends do it and calls you “sick” for even suggesting it. She even says she’s thinking about moving back to her mother’s house.
In the past, you had no choice but to splooge all over her boobs, belly, or butt crack. Talk about gross! And all those paper towels get expensive. But now—”It doesn’t have to be that way!”
There’s an exciting new product on the sexual-pharmaceuticals market which combines natural herbs and lots of chemicals to ensure that your semen delivers a LOAD OF HEALTH with every load you shoot!
Read on, and when you’re done, tell HER to read it, too...
“Nutri-Dick®” Sperm-Enhancing Tablet for Men is the most exciting product to hit the spermaceutical community in years! Just take one pill at least a half-hour before sex, and your ejaculation will contain 100% of the United States Required Daily Allowance for vitamins and minerals needed to sustain health! Every time she swallows your wad, it’s like eating a bowl of Total cereal! Now she truly has “no excuse” not to do it!
“Nutri-Dick®” was developed through years of research and testing by our specially trained scientists in air-conditioned basements of community colleges nationwide. A rigorous system of trial-and-error and several nasty lawsuits with the Food and Drug Administration have ultimately resulted in our legal counsel advising us that’s it’s safe to sell this brand until an actual court order specifically forbids us from doing so.
“Nutri-Dick®”is unlike most legitimate vitamin products in that it has specially designed erotic enzymes and powerful sexual antioxidants which lead its healthy nutrients to bypass other vital organs and head straight to where it’s needed the most—your testicles. Within a half-hour (and up to 12 hours) after swallowing a single “Nutri-Dick®” capsule, your gonads will become flooded with all the vitamins and minerals an average adult needs to maintain health. We’ve also laced the capsules with several well-known herbal aphrodisiacs. The more loads she guzzles, the healthier and hornier she gets!
“Nutri-Dick®” allows you to shoot a “load of health” down her gullet and directly into her stomach, where, according to limited uncontrolled testing by special scientists we picked through double-blind studies in classified ads, the vitamins and minerals in your man-sauce are absorbed FIVE to SIX TIMES FASTER than they are in those “hard-to-swallow” horse pills you buy at the health-food store. How can she argue now? Now she has no excuse!