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    jimgoad.net :: penis sizes of world religious figures

    Penis Sizes of World Religious Figures

    According to the Women Who Loved Them

    Founding a major world religion can be difficult. But it has its perks, chief among them the groupies. Even rock musicians can't moisten the ladies' laps like someone who who promises to plow them with the ol' God Rod. But prophets tend to be arrogant and self-absorbed, and when they're finished using the bodies of their willing female supplicants, they toss them in the garbage like a half-eaten tray of fish 'n' chips.

    But now the God Groupies are having their revenge. A website called messiahs-exes.com is run by and dedicated to the women who've been used and then cast aside by prophets of the Lord. Through lively chat-room discussions and catty message boards, these women detail their sexual encounters with famous world religious figures. Their comments are often shocking, frequently graphic, and always honest.

    Judging from the site's thousands of postings, these men of God were busy li'l bumblebees with the ladies, up their with bedroom champs such as Wilt Chamberlain and Gene Simmons. By pooling together their comments, we've estimated each religious leader's penis size. We've also provided three representative comments about each prophet's lovemaking techniques.


    NAME:

    Jesus

    RELIGION:

    Christianity

    ESTIMATED PENIS SIZE:

    5.5" long x 1.5" wide

    COMMENTS:

    "He was kinda cute, but he was totally clammy in bed....It took a while for him to get it up, and when he did, he shot it in about three seconds....He paid more attention to his apostles than he did to me. A nice guy, but I think he might be gay."


    NAME:

    Krishna

    RELIGION:

    Hinduism

    ESTIMATED PENIS SIZE:

    7" long x 1.5" wide

    COMMENTS:

    "The blue cock took a little getting used to....He smelled like curry, which was a total turnoff....I looked inside his asshole and saw the universe."


    NAME:

    Moses

    RELIGION:

    Judaism

    ESTIMATED PENIS SIZE:

    5.75" long x 2.5" wide

    COMMENTS:

    "He was always commanding me to do stuff....I like men with facial hair, so I thought the beard was totally hot....He told me I have a 'burning bush,' which is the dumbest pickup line I ever heard."


    NAME:

    Buddha

    RELIGION:

    Buddhism

    ESTIMATED PENIS SIZE:

    4" long x 1" wide

    COMMENTS:

    "Dude was hung like a grain of rice....He sat there without moving and wanted me to do all the work....No wonder his religion is all about killing one's desires, because that's exactly the effect he had on me!"


    NAME:

    Muhammad

    RELIGION:

    Islam

    ESTIMATED PENIS SIZE:

    10" long x 3" wide

    COMMENTS:

    "He made me believe in the One True God, the one dangling between his legs....He was a bit of a player. I didn't allow myself to trust him....Big dick, but I still didn't get off. It was all about his pleasure, not mine. When I started moaning, he told me to cover my face and be quiet."

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