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    jimgoad.net :: sex slang

    Fun 'n' Exciting

    Sex Slang

    You Can Use to Impress the Ladies!

    Has it ever occurred to you that almost all of your problems are rooted in the fact that you aren’t getting laid nearly as often as a normal adult human should? And has it crossed your mind that the reason for this is because you simply don’t know how to “talk cool” with the chicks? Fret not—I’ve provided a list of FUN ’n’ OBSCURE sexual euphemisms which will have you “making time” with the ladies in no time!

     

    AARDVARKING...fucking an ex-lover due to boredom or lack of other opportunities

    ABSPRITZEN...to ejaculate (German)

    ACCORDION...a penis that becomes much, much larger when erect

    AGATE...a tiny penis

    AGONY...sexual bliss (Jamaican)

    APPLE DUMPLIN’ SHOP...boobs (archaic English)

    ARBOR VITAE...penis (archaic English)

    ARTICHOKE...vagina

    AXEWOUND...vagina

    BABY PASTE...semen

    BACKGAMMON PLAYER...homosexual (archaic English)

    BADONKADONK...a giant bouncy ass; also, budonkadunk, gadonk-a-donk-donk, gadonkadonk, ga-donk ga-donk donk, and budunk

    BAGPIPING...fucking a man in the armpit (19th-Century British)

    BAWBELS...testicles (archaic English)

    BEAR CLAW...gigantic pussy lips

    BEARD SPLITTER...stud (archaic English)

    BEAT DAT FACE...to fuck and/or receive oral sex (Jamaican)

    BESCHNITTEN...circumcised (German)

    BIT OF RASPBERRY...sexy woman (British)

    BLANKET HORNPIPE...sexual intercourse (archaic English)

    BLOW THE GROUNSILS...sexual intercourse (archaic English)

    BLUMPKIN...the act of receiving oral sex while defecating

    BOB TAIL...slutty woman or impotent man (archaic English)

    BOG QUEEN...gay man who cruises public toilets for sex

    BONE SMUGGLER...male homosexual

    BRONCO...male youth who is extremely vigorous during sex

    BUG CHASER...a non-infected gay male who deliberately tries to acquire HIV, usually from someone called a “gift giver”

    BUMBO...vagina (archaic black British)

    BUSHEL BUBBY...big-breasted woman (archaic English)

    BUTTERED BUN...having sex with a woman who has just had sex with another man gives you a “buttered bun” (archaic English)

    BUZZ BOMB...penis

    CASABAS...breasts

    CAPTAIN IS AT HOME, THE...I’m menstruating

    CAR WASH...blowjob (Canadian)

    CHANGE THE OIL...fuck

    CHICK-A-BIDDY...young slut (archaic English)

    CUNNY-HAUNTED...pussy hound (archaic English)

    COCK WAGON...a car designed to impress women

    CLEANING UP THE KITCHEN...licking an anus before fucking it

    CLEANING ONE’S RIFLE....male masturbation

    COOYONS...balls

    CRAPPER TAPPER...male homosexual

    CRINKUMS...gonorrhea (archaic English)

    CULO...ass (Spanish)

    DAISY CHAIN...three or more people simultaneously connected by oral sex

    DEALYBOB...clitoris

    DILLY-BOY...male prostitute (British, 1930s)

    DOCK...to fuck

    DOLLYMOPPER...stud (British, 1800s)

    DOODLE SACK...vagina (archaic English)

    DUNG-PUNCHER...male homosexual (Australian 1960s)

    DUTCH BOY...a gay man who hangs out with lesbians

    EINSTEIN...pubic hair

    ETCH-A-SKETCH...playing with a woman’s nipples

    FLIT...male homosexual

    FLYCATCHER...vagina

    FONDLING THE FIG...female masturbation

    FRENCHIFIED...infected with an STD (archaic English)

    FROGSKIN...condom (1920s Australia)

    FUSTY LUGGS...a disgusting slut (archaic English)

    FUZZ BUMPER...lesbian

    GENTILE DICK...uncircumcised penis

    GLAMITY...vagina (Jamaican)

    GLEET...gonorrhea discharge (British)

    GOLDEN WINNEBAGOS...breasts

    GRINDSMAN...stud (Jamaican)

    GUBB...semen

    GUNCH...to fellate

    GWARRY...vagina (South African)

    HASBIAN...ex-lesbian

    HEDGE WHORE...a prostitute who will fuck you anywhere (archaic English)

    HOUSE OF COMMONS...prostitute’s vagina

    HUNG LIKE A TIC-TAC...has a tiny penis

    HYMIE...anus

    INDUSTRIAL ACCIDENT...orgasm

    JAGS...horny (South African)

    KAZOO...ass

    KNISH...vagina (Yiddish)

    LACE CURTAINS...foreskin

    LEATHER CHEERIO...anus

    LESBRO...a male who hangs out with lesbians

    LOOP-DE-LOOP...simultaneous mutual oral sex; 69

    MANTHRAX...semen

    MEAT AND POTATOES...penis and testicles

    MR. MENTION...stud (Jamaican)

    NARROW AT THE EQUATOR...has a tiny penis

    NASH...vagina (Jamaican)

    NULL THE VOID...masturbate

    NUTMEGS...testicles

    PEARL DIVER...one who performs blowjobs

    PEBBLES...a sexually active underaged female

    PEG BOY...a boy prostitute; the word is derived from an actual practice in certain British bordellos during the 1800s of forcing boy prostitutes to sit on wooden pegs to dilate their anuses

    PEPPERED...infected with STDs (archaic English)

    PINEAPPLE...a male’s package

    PLAYING CANASTA...eyeballing the crotches of passersby

    PROUD...horny (archaic English)

    PUMPKIN EATER...pedophile

    PUM-PUM...vagina (Jamaican)

    PUNTERS...porn addicts; johns (British)

    RED WINGS...performing cunnilingus while a woman is menstruating

    ROLFING THE PIGLET...male masturbation

    SCHLAMPENSCHLEPPER, DER...pimp wagon (German)

    SCHMECKEL...penis (Yiddish)

    SCROGGING...fucking (archaic English)

    SHAKING HANDS WITH THE UNEMPLOYED...masturbating

    SHEMPING THE HOG...male masturbation

    SKEET...an ejaculatory spurt

    SKO...a skanky ho

    SLAUGHTERHOUSE...a singles bar that reeks of desperation

    SNOW QUEEN...black male homosexual who only dates white men

    STRAW...a woman skilled at sex; a female who’s good "in the straw" (archaic English)

    STROKE THE BLOKE...masturbate

    TATERS...breasts

    THREE-PENNY UPRIGHT...a prostitute who has sex while standing with her back to a wall (archaic English)

    TOPCOAT...condom

    TUNTI...vagina (Jamaican)

    TURN IN YOUR 'V' CARD...lose your virginity

    VAGITARIAN...lesbian

    WAGTAIL...a slut (archaic English)

    WATER CHESTNUTS...a gay Japanese sailor

    WAY DOWN SOUTH IN DIXIE, TO GO...to fellate

    WESTERN PATIO...flat ass

    WHORE PIPE...penis

    WICKET...vagina (medieval English)

    WINKTEPI...male butt-sex (Lakota Indian)

    YESTERGAY...someone who transforms from gay to straight seemingly overnight

    YONI...vagina (Sanskrit)

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