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    jimgoad.net /// words

    This page, much like this site and my self-esteem, are undergoing a constantly unfolding and blossoming process of change and revision. For now, all the hyperlinks below will lead you to articles rendered in the much spat-upon and unfairly maligned PDF format.

    Each of these articles will all eventually also have its own HTML page, and I'll be adding maybe a hundred OTHER articles that are HTML-only.

    DON'T CLICK ON ANY OF THESE LINKS UNLESS YOU ARE AT LEAST 18! I FUCKING MEAN IT!

    White Man Blames Women, Nonwhites for His Problems
    Judge Orders Hitler to Undergo Therapy
    The Cowardly Dog
    Portland's White Community
    Thrown Under the Bus
    It's the Segregation Hit Parade!!! (from ANSWER Me! #4)
    The Dangers Behind Lumberjack Chic
    Dictatorship of the Retarded
    Bad, Bad White Man

    Penis Sizes of World Religious Figures
    Priest Turns Confession Booth into "Erotic Lingerie Modeling Booth for Boys"
    Virgin Mary's Face Appears in Wet Spot
    Vaginal Palmistry
    Sai Baba: Pedophile or Cool Fuckin' Dude?
    Did Jesus Have Wet Dreams?
    Blessed Are the Strong: The Power Team Smashes Things to Pieces—for Jesus!
    Nunfucked: The Hidden Story of Sexual Abuse by Nuns
    Divine Pimpin': How Cult Leaders Use Sex to Control Their Sects


    The White House Shooter (from Shit Magnet)
    Beyond the Bobbitts: Honoring History's Less-Famous Severed Penises
    It's a Rape, Rape, Rape, Rape, Rape, Rape World (from ANSWER Me! #4)
    Prey (from ANSWER Me! #4)
    The Nice Stalker (from ANSWER Me! #4)
    My Sick Mommy (from ANSWER Me! #4)
    The Lingering Effects of Pre-Natal Violence (from Shit Magnet)
    Let's Hear it for Violence Toward Women! (from ANSWER Me! #4)
    The 101st Spectacular Suicide (from Shit Magnet)
    The Punk Who Wouldn't Shut Up (from ANSWER Me! #4)
    Chuck Zito Can Kick Your Ass!
    The Bad Mommy

    Hilarious Deaths
    The Haunted eBay Painting
    Death: Yours and Mine (from Shit Magnet)
    Whatta Way to Go!: The Morbidly Erotic Phenomenon of Death During Sex

    Standing Alone at the Edge of a Crowd (from Shit Magnet)
    Policemen Are Our Friends (from ANSWER Me! #4)
    Obscenity (from Shit Magnet)
    How to Say "I Love You" and "I Hate You" in 15 Languages
    A Beginner's Guide to the Dirty ATL
    Deep Impact 2008
    You're Gonna Live Forever (from ANSWER Me! #4)
    Amputation Nation (from ANSWER Me! #4)

    Hell, Inc. (from Shit Magnet)
    The Only Convict Who Couldn't Get Into Australia
    Shanks for the Memories
    Guide to Northwestern Prison Slang
    Pleasuring Myself in Prison
    You Meet the Nicest People in Prison
    The Punk Who Wouldn't Shut Up (from ANSWER Me! #4)
    Valentine's Day Prison Haiku

    Republican Gash
    Nuclear Moron
    Don't Fuck With the Masons
    Hillary Clinton Must Die (In Order to Prove She's Human)
    World's Worst Dictators
    Dead Heroes of the 1960s
    Let's Invade Canada
    Bay Aryan Resistance
    War: What is it Good For? (Plenty)

    Adult Films Made by Children
    In Defense of Women With Bad Teeth
    Trying to Make Sense of Women Who Love Bad Boys
    Home Breast-Implant Kits
    Cupid Busted for Sex Crimes
    What Every Man Should Know About Cunnilingus
    Genital Cosmetic Surgery
    The Herbal Date-Rape Drug
    PB 'n' AIDS!
    Raped by a Gator!
    Women Stink: The Distinguished Gentleman's Guide to Vaginal Odor
    100 Quotes About Women
    Wiener Dog Heartache
    When Cunts Talk (review of The Vagina Monologues)
    What About Us?
    Weird Sexual Practices (and How to Perform Them)
    We Are Family!
    I Always Vote for BUSH
    The Vanishing Handjob
    Twats Wit' Tats
    Tits Are for Kids
    10 Steps to a Tighter Pussy
    That's a Vagina!
    That's a Penis!
    Nobody Sux Like SUX Sux
    Summertime Sexual Fun
    SuicideGirls: All Girls, No Suicide
    A Night at Stinky's
    New Wave of STDs
    Squirtin'!
    When Spanking Isn't Wrong
    The Slut, Reconsidered
    Sharkee's
    Sex v. Work
    Sexual Myths
    World's Funniest Sexual Dysfunctions
    Worldwide Sexual Achievement Hall of Fame
    Sex Toys That Time Forgot
    Sex Slang
    Biological Sex Freaks
    Battle of the S&M Titans
    Requiem for a Heavy Breather
    Queefer Madness: Clearing the Air About Pussy Farts
    Pug Porn
    In Search of the Prostate Gland
    Leggo My Preggo!
    Positively Sex-Negative
    Man Uses Photoshop to Give Himself a Bigger Penis
    Performing Menial Labor as Sexual Foreplay
    Taking Pictures of My Peen
    Paraphilias
    My One-Night Stands
    Nutridick
    Nudism: From the Volleyball Net to the Internet
    Necrophilia
    My Penis is Better Than Your Penis
    My Muscular Ass
    Funniest Yahoo! Fetish Groups
    My Erogenous Zones
    Muslim Girls Turn Me On!
    The Implications of Morning Wood
    In Praise of Mature Women
    Interview With a Male Prostitute
    Understanding the Male Nipple
    Love v. Chocolate
    I'm Lousy the First Time
    Losing My Virginity
    Local Couple Tries New Sexual Position
    LeTourned-Out
    What's With all the Lesbians?
    Koro, Koro, Koro!
    The Jack Shack
    The Industry
    Hot Muslim Twat!
    Hot Amish Pussy!
    Hillbilly Pussy Online
    A Heat Wave in My Pants
    Fun Penis Facts
    Fun Vagina Facts
    Rage Against the Fucking Machines
    Financial Slavery
    How Your Mouth Can Help You Keep a Man
    Girls Just Wanna Have Food
    Faking the Male Orgasm
    Ex-Slaves Sue Dominatrix for Reparations
    Ejaculating Blood
    Dirty Words in Other Languages
    The Cocks of Rock
    My Cheating Heart
    My Teenaged Celebrity Crushes
    The Catholic Schoolgirl Fetish
    Catfight!
    Cash 4 Gash
    Cafe BEEFCAKE
    Brass Pole Babylon
    Biting the Whore That Fed Me
    Bird-Doggin'!: The Perils and Pleasures of Fucking Another Man's Woman
    Man's Best Friends: The Legal, Ethical, and Personal Issues Surrounding Bestiality
    The Auto-Suck
    Wide World of Animal Cock
    Adult Pet Finder
    5 Seconds of Bliss
    3 Coins in the Condom Machine

     

    Police Finally Arrest Man Who Let the Dogs Out
    I Feel Your Pain, Ike Turner
    The Sound of God Yawning: Why Suicide Will Live Forever
    Fucking Macho!: The Timelessly Burly Mood Music of Spaghetti Westerns
    Surviving as Sinatra
    Silver Spoons and Rotten Teeth
    Hard 'n' Sweet: Why The Raspberries Might Be the Greatest Rock Band Ever
    Hung Like a Genius: Roger Nusic's Weird, Wild, One-Man World
    The Killing Songs
    I Saw the Darkness (Interview With Hank Williams III)
    Hey, Ma, I'm a Country Singer!!! (Big Red Goad Tour Diary)
    Glam I Am: The Importance of Being Slade
    Portland: Land of Dumb Band Names
    Dead Musicians Are More Productive
    Cobain Haiku
    "I Can't Kiss You—It Smells Like Piss" (Chuck Berry's Alleged Piss Fetish)
    Bo Diddley: America's Greatest Bitter Black Musician
    Big Red Goad: A Truck Driver's Truck Driver, an Entertainer's Entertainer
    Did Syd Barrett Find My Brain Tumor?
    Bling Daddy Caddy: "Ain't No Fakin' Da Funk"

    Rectal Foreign Bodies
    Gay Hamburgers of Portland
    Gay 'Bout Me!: My Sexual Fantasies About Myself
    All the Gay Beasts of the Field
    Out of the Closet and on the Open Road

     

    70s Balls!
    Beloved Assholes
    Great Bad Movies of the Past 30 Years
    Celebrities I Actually Hate
    NASCAR: It Didn't Used to Suck

     

    Drugs I Haven't Tried...Yet
    Drug Workers Form Coalition
    No Need to Die Twice: Why I'll Never Do "Special K" Again
    Methturbation Blues
    Mother Nature's Viagra
    Where Has All the Angel Dust Gone?
    Whiskey Dick: The Role of Intoxicants in Erectile Dysfunction

    An Interview With Jim Goad (by Jim Goad)
    My Top 5 Top 5s
    Spastic Invasion
    Poems
    Ice Cream: It's Like Sticking a Piece of Heaven in Your Mouth
    I Blew at Sports

    Copyright © 2017 Jim Goad  ::  The World's Bravest Man

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