satan is a punk-ass bitch
"Asshole in NJ" (who isn't an asshole in NJ?) sends me this McCarthyite question:
"The Redneck Manifesto" is listed on the Church of Satan's website, under books by it's [sic] members. Are you currently, or have you ever been a member of this organization?
Not of my own doing, Asshole. I interviewed Anton LaVey in 1992. He was a sharp, funny guy. I admired him until I realized he plagiarized—word for word—the first ten pages or so of The Satanic Bible from a far superior book called Might is Right. Not long after I interviewed him, I was mailed a special red membership card in the COS indicating that I was a Satanic priest. If I could have traded in the card for free McDonald's French fries, I would have done it.
The Church of Satan, Asshole, is quick to tell you that they don't eat babies or listen to heavy-metal music, and that's where they lose me. I'd like them better if they did things a bit more threatening than sitting in their dens polishing off another snifter of absinthe. Most of them are intellectual nerds who, if they didn't have Satan, would have Star Trek.
Satan has gone mainstream, Asshole. He has lost his cachet, his power to offend. He's safe. You don't risk much walking down the street wearing a T-shirt with a picture of Ol' Scratch on it. If you want to be attuned to what's demonic these days, express an affinity for Hitler or Osama bin Laden. Or tell people you like Jim Goad.
