bad, bad white man
Y'know, I've decided to come clean and admit that my gene pool is more like a cesspool. Yer right, ladies and enlightened Birkenstock-shod men—I'm solely responsible for everything that's wrong with the world. All the poverty in Africa, all the suffering of disabled folks, all the howls and shrieks of every woman everywhere—it's solely my fault.
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE forgive me. I'll cut it off. I'll apply blackface. I hold TWO candles at Take Back the Night Rallies. I'll let you extinguish cigars on my nipples. Whatever it takes. Just don't be upset with me anymore...OK?
As part of my lifelong quest to apologize and be re-educated, I'm offering a simple poem. A lowly bastard poem.
BAD, BAD WHITE MAN
Bad, bad white man
White man very bad
Make us very angry
Make us very sad
Racist fascist sex pig
Ruler of the earth
Palefaced penis privilege
Accorded you by birth
Calling all the women
Calling all the Jews
Calling all the black guys
White man's gonna lose
Let's go kill that white man
Shoot him in the face
Cause that stinky white man
Destroys the human race
We'll take all the money
We'll have all the fun
The time we act like white men
Has only just begun.
