the future of television
The average American—and 99% of them are average—bathes immobile and lard-assed in the boob tube's spectral glow for nearly four hours daily. It has been said that a person's brain is more active while they're asleep than while watching television. For the blunting effect that TV has on their cognitive skills, the average American might as well be smoking meth four hours daily.
Every movie Hollywood ever made has been turned into a TV show, and every TV show has been turned into a movie. And now, with the advent of a Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake, every movie ever made has now been remade. There are no ideas left. They've all been eaten.
The proliferation of "reality" television programs are a beacon of cathode-ray light illuminating TV broadcasting's future. Americans now eagerly watch other Americans arresting criminals, bickering with their roommates or family members, engaging in romantic subterfuge, and taking their pets to see psychics.
Yet this is not "reality" for most Americans. Most of these shows only highlight the exciting parts of everyday existence. Over the next generation, as the first wave of reality programs suffer extinction due to sameness and overexposure, a second wave of "true reality" programs will succeed them.
These will consist exclusively of TV programs featuring Americans watching television. Viewers will sit in front of their TVs to watch other viewers sitting in front of their TVs. And a dumb peace will reign throughout the land.
