enter the g4
CRACK! BANG! KA-CHUNG! This diary entry is the first composed on my sleek, all-new compensatory cock, a Macintosh G4.
It replaces a wheezing, obsolete Power Mac 8600 and its mood-killing beige Juicy Fruit-gum-colored old-school computer pigmentation. The ancient workhorse was so sluggish, it used to take me an hour just to Photoshop one of the darling little pictures I post here every day. Now it takes about three minutes.
My new digital phallus, received as partial payment for designing someone else's website, is a bold slab of silver and blue. It boasts more than 10X as much RAM as my old one ... the moist jungleosity of Mac's OSX ... and it doesn't make loud scratchy sounds like an antique record player whenever I access a file.
Yeah, I know they have G5s now, and I'd probably fetch only about $500 if I had to sell my "new" machine...but it's by far the fastest (and sexiest) computer I've ever owned. I hate techgeeks and 99% of techspeak, but I love the power this hard-plastic box bequeaths upon me. Now I can do the Flash versions of ANSWER Me! I promised a while back. And I can record my own tracks and edit my own movies.
Since I'm still not permitted to go around guns, this is the next best thing.
