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10/26/2003

animals in costumes

It's a fact: Only women and gay men enjoy the sight of animals in costumes. The rest of us are very, very disturbed by it. That includes the animals.

For years I've consorted with female intimates who've enjoyed stuffing my furry surrogate children, both canine and feline, into "cute" outfits and creating anthropomorphized personae for them. I'd grit my teeth as the squirming animals had their limbs forced into one barfy-cute get-up after the next, imploring me with their eyes to intervene. And there I was today, watching Cookie cavort in a Halloween "witch" ensemble designed, but of course, by a female intimate.

LET THE BONDAGE END. The reason I love animals is because they aren't like humans. The last thing I want is for them to start dressing like us or resembling us in any way. Pretty please, O Loving Christ Child, let there be no more animals in costumes.

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