the artist formerly known as "geese"
Hating both my parents led me to hate my first and last names, so on the cusp of adolescence when so many Juniors seek to define themselves, I searched for another "handle." I wanted a cool nickname to reflect my cool Prince Valiant haircut and even-cooler platform shoes.
At first I insisted that schoolmates call me "Crazy Horse," because I was a mite touched in the head, the same head which sported a rebellious mane of long hair not unlike a horse's. I thought it was a fitting name for the early 70s fringed-rawhide back-to-the-garden transgressive youth culture of which I was still too young to be a part, but which promised the sex and drugs for which I pined.
Eventually dissatisfied with "Crazy Horse," I switched to "Geese," the nickname of Hubert Ausbie, the amiable Eddie Murphy-looking Harlem Globetrotter pictured at left. I liked Geese, and I liked his nickname, so in keeping with my Caucasian predilections, I stole something from the black man. I became "Geese." Geese Goad. Call me "Geese," please.
It's worth noting that both my namesakes—red man Crazy Horse and Negro hoopster Geese—were persons of color. I was way ahead of the curve in this anti-racist movement, all you bajiggety playa haters.
In prison, I considered "Skeeter" and "Skippy" before settling on "Corn Dogg," AKA "Corny D" and "Corn Diggety."
Now both my parents are dead, and I LOVE the name "Jim Goad." Two syllables, seven letters, and a megaton of raw sex.
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ANSWER Me!: The First Three is finally going to be reprinted, along with a DVD of relevant news clips.
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I've been informed that my "skin looks good" in the Shit Magnet promotional trailer.
