tore up from the floor up
My body is a frickin' mess right now.
About a week ago, I awoke to find a HUGE red spider bite under my left armpit. Oregon spiders are launching a concerted offensive against everyone I know. The swelling...and the pain...and the shame...remain.
Then on Wednesday night, a seemingly mild-mannered girl dug her teeth into my left tricep during an otherwise tender moment, causing a baseball-sized green bruise.
And last night after bending down to feed Cookie, I SMASHED my skull into a shelf corner while standing up, causing a three-inch gash on my head. I had a friend apply some "Liquid Skin" goop and butterfly sutures.
Undeterred, I don my three-dollar straw cowboy hat and head into the foggy night, seeking companionship and BJs.
+++++++++
Hank Williams III smoked me out the other night. Whatta mensch!
