the black man's friend
PORTLAND, OR—Professional woman-beater, bird-dogger, penile exhibitionist and part-time author Jim Goad has finally settled a long-running controversy—he is not now, nor has he ever been, a racist. As proof, Goad tenders this candid photo of him with his arm around The Black Man and flashing the peace sign during a recent late-night pub crawl.
"Racist!?! Shit, the boy ain't no racist!" said The Black Man. "Just look at the picture, foo! He got his arm around me and is flashing the peace sign. Do that look like a racist to you?" When queried about Goad's shaven skull and "peckerwood" prison-yard attire, The Black Man merely shook his head and said, "The boy got hair issues. The boy got some serious hair issues. And he like the denim. The boy like denim. He my nigga."
"That's right," Goad chimed in. "I'm his nigger. I'm his niggly-wiggly-piggly nigger. So y'alls needs to step off with this 'racist' shit. I've probably fucked more sistas than homeboy here."
Goad was later seen giving a five-dollar bill to The Black Man and telling him to "scram."
