Tuesday, March 9, 2004
So I'm hanging out with this bitch I know while she prepares a catering tray for Jamaican reggae-nigra Eek-A-Mouse and his posse of ganja-huffin' island musicians, who are slated to play at a local club on the evening in question.
Shortly after the splendiferous catering tray is unveiled outside the Green Room while the Jamaicans and their sympathizers menacingly mill about, a representative for the musical combo kindly takes this bitch I know aside and informs her that they will be unable to eat anything on the table. It appears that their brand of Rastafarianism prohibits them from ingesting any food prepared by a woman, since there's a high possibility that she might accidentally splash or leak some of her—and I believe this is a direct quote—"menstrual juices" onto the food, thus tainting it in Jah's eyes.
How the fuck do these natty rapscallions feed themselves? They never sit around hitting a bong and start feeling too lazy to throw a Hot Pocket in the microwave themselves? Isn't that why Jah made women—to throw a Hot Pocket in the microwave for us?
Anyway, I ate well that night, menstrual juices notwithstanding.
Posted by jg @ 04:07 PM PST []
Monday, March 1, 2004
Sights and sounds assault me as if I was being pummeled with gangland fists in a dark alleyway. I am delighted and prodded and tickled and bludgeoned by the box-set DVDs and Pay-Per-View specials and explosion-heavy video games and pulsating neon billboards and virtual-reality Internet headgear where you bat your eyelashes instead of clicking a mouse.
I'm havin' fun, yo.
I swallow entertainment as if it were a multivitamin. As these delightful large-screen-TV images enter my eyes and dissolve through my body, they make me a better person. I wield the remote control like a hypodermic needle, plunging sweet sounds and bright colors into my dark inner world. It makes me less empty. It connects me to everyone else.
Nothing wrong with being entertained. Or over-entertained, even. I'm so happy, I'm going to go watch another movie.
+++++++++
Two new installments of Trucker Fags: last month's and this month's. Only one month to go. Comic book will be out in May.