anal-impregnation procedure provides hope for gay couples
FIRE ISLAND, NY—Homosexual males who want children have traditionally been faced with either childlessness or the unsavory prospect of intercourse with a female. But they are now rejoicing at the news of a breakthrough medical procedure whereby the rectal tract's mucosal lining can be fertilized with semen, enabling males to carry a fetus to term in their rectums.
"After the pain—UNBELIEVABLE pain—of delivery, I now have only joy," declared Lance Ebert (pictured at far right), the world's first man to give birth to a baby through his anus. Ebert and his "life partner," Bruce Nixon (pictured holding little "Lorenzo"), conceived the child during a raucous round of anal sex in their cabin during a "Gay Couples Reggae Cruise" off the shores of Long Island a year ago.
"It's a new day for gay men, it's a new day for gay babies—quite simply, it's a new gay day," enthused K. Y. Kudra, the proctologist who pioneered the controversial anal-impregnation procedure. "In one swift stroke and a few hearty thrusts, the vagina has been rendered obsolete. The butthole is now the life portal. I used to say, 'I'm so happy I could shit myself,' but now I can say, 'I'm so happy I could shit a baby!'"
